Growing with joy!

So this is my first blog... not quite sure how to go about it. I wanted to start a blog because I have been so touched and encouraged by other peoples blogs. So I decided to put myself out there and I hope to be encouraged and I hope to be encouraging. So my life has radically changed in the last 6 months. I literally am not the same person I was 6 months ago and my husband is not the same person he was 6 months ago. Our focus has changed.

I started out an innocent, sweet, extremely giving person ready to serve any and everyone who came my way[as i think most people start out in this world]. I had dreams when I was a kid that when I grew up I would travel the world and take care of orphans. I even did go on a couple of trips to Mexico and Cambodia to help the orphans [that was me that was my passion] slowly through the years I had been mistreated, hurt and started to build up layers to protect myself. This changed who I was. So I started giving less, smiling less and becoming more selfish. Self consumed just "trying to keep up with the jones's" as they say. I started loosing me, the real Rachel, the one that God had so many plans for. I was hiding under all those layers, protecting myself trying to be who everyone else expected me to be. I have always cared way to much about whether others like me or not when I should have been focusing on what God thought of me. That is all that really matters in the end. I got so self consumed in my own problems that I didn't see all the people that needed me.

I have changed. God has changed me. I have taken the layers of hurt off. God says love your enemy, serve others [strangers] as you would serve him, take care of widows and orphans. How many Christians do you see doing these things. Unfortunately Christians are mostly known for judging, gossiping[things I am guilty of] when we should be known for our love, compassion and joy. I will never be perfect but now I am living my life with intention and purpose. I can honestly say that I have never been so happy, so peaceful, so blessed and so in love with my husband since I have made these changes in my self. For those of you who read this and don't believe in God, you should change your intention. Show more love, don't judge and don't worry about what others think of you and you will feel such a peace inside. If you go back in time to before you were hurt, before you put up your wall and mistrust for people. Just love people expecting nothing in return then you won't be so disappointed. Remember people who are mean are usually just hurting.

Now as for my new minivan some of you may have wondered what I meant by filling the seats. Eli and I have decided to adopt. Adoption had always been on the back burner for us mostly my back burner. I always felt someone was missing after I had Ayla but I had no desire to be pregnant again. After we saw the suffering in Haiti, Eli said to me "we have to do something about all those children who were orphaned". After doing some research we realized there are so many orphans right here in America that need a home. I think adopting from anywhere is important but to adopt from America is what felt right to us. And maybe one day we will adopt internationally also. So we have finished all our requirements to foster/adopt. Physicals, paperwork, tb tests and our homestudy. We even decorated the room and set up bunkbeds. We would like to adopt a sibling group of 1-3 kids ages 2-8. I am so excited and nervous I honestly feel the same way I felt when I was pregnant minus the fatique and morning sickness. There will be a huge adjustment period just like when I brought my kids home from the hospital except these kids will come with a personality, with fear with mistrust. I can't wait to teach them trust, show them love and make them a part of our family. We just have to wait a couple of weeks for our backround check to come back and then we could be placed anytime. I am already in love and praying for them. I have so much more to say about this but this entry is already to long so I will post it later. If you have adopted from the foster care system or if you have any questions for me I would love to hear what you have to say.