Skipping my Shower

Just put these two down for a nap and the other 3 are at

school.  This is usually my time to take a shower but today I

just couldn't get something out of my mind. 

It is something I have been wanting to post for awhile but I

always seem to be so busy or to tired at the end of the day to

write.  I have so many people say to me:

"You went from two potty

trained kids to 5 over night, you are crazy!" 

or

"you must really love kids" 

This is usually

not meant as an insult but just more amazement that

someone is crazy enough to commit to something like this.  I

really do think most people in our lives don't get it and really

think we are crazy.  I know where they are coming from.  A

couple years ago before Eli and I made the commitment to

adopt I would have never in my wildest dreams thought that

we would adopt three kids at once.

I even had some Christian's who are very close to me

say right before the kids moved in

"so your really going through with this"?  "I

am worried about you and how it will change your life if

you commit to this."

"Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you have to

adopt."  "Why didn't Jesus adopt?"

I could go on and on with quotes. 

Everyone worrying for me, but no one worrying for the three

children that had no where to go. 

How does that make sense.  Praise the Lord that we said yes

because our lives are so full and so blessed because of these

three.  Ayla would have never met her best friend if we

had said no.  We have never been happier as a family.

Why do we want to live our normal life and be left alone. 

That is not what God calls us to do.  We should be reaching

out to the world and showing God's love. 

Most of us Christians (including me) Just want to live a life

like the rest of the world and then go to church on Sunday.  I

am not trying to sound judgy I promise.  I am so, so, so guilty

of this. Eli and I didn't have some extra patience, super

power or a huge savings to be able to take on this job.  We are

just normal people that said yes to what God called us to do. 

I know God is calling me to do more though. 

He is calling all of us to do more. 

I have felt so guilty this week as I

planned a vacation for my family and have a pantry stocked

with food. Why has God blessed my family so much when

their are so many other families suffering in Japan and all

over the world?  There is so much more that I can do.

Praying that God shows me.

 I am not saying go out and adopt three kids. 

But what can you do? 

I promise when we say yes to God's calling for us he will

provide and give you the strength you need to fulfill that

calling.

We are so blessed

Just think if we all did something a little "crazy" for Jesus. 

Remember we are the only ones here to show God's love and

there are so many people out there that need it.

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Cute

My life right now is so full of cute

Max loves to wear his sister's princess heals

Two little girls giggling and playing Barbie's

 

     Zoe and Ayla's new swimsuit

{you can see Ayla in the background trying to vacuum up play-do mess}

Ayla showing Max how to strut in heels

Jackson teaching his brother and sister's how to play

Candy-land

Max roller skating

Jackson reading Max a book about being a big brother



My life is really really busy but I know this time is going to fly

by and one day I am going to miss all this cute.



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Eli

 What would I do without this man?

I still get butterflies just looking at him. 

   He has been my rock. 

He gets me.

He isn't a couch and TV man

He is a cook

He is a cleaner and organizer

He is flirty

He is a good provider

He loves to play and snuggle with the kids

He loves God

He is an amazing musician

I wouldn't want to be on this beautiful journey with anybody

else.



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Who says?

Who says

Boys

aren't

Naturally

Nurturing?



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This boy!

This boy

 

would let me

hold him

all day

If I could

and sometimes we try {grin}

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1 Month

I am blown away with what can happen in a month. 

What I have learned about the human race. 

A month ago things were very different.

There have been so many ups and downs lately.

Our family grew by three and two weeks later my sister had her baby.

4 more kids at Christmas this year.  I think this Christmas is going to be extra magical.

Then a week after my sister had her baby one of my very best friends in the whole world

had her little baby Charlotte.  Wow the world is going to be a better place because of these

kids.  We also found out that we are going to receive a grant that will cover almost half of our

adoption costs.  When we said yes to these kids we literally had no idea how we were going to

pay for the adoption expenses.  God has totally been providing for our new family of 7 just as

I knew he would. 

On a sad note. In the last month there have also been some tragedies.  One of my friends

from high school found out that her husband had a tumor in his brain. He immediately got it

removed and they found out it was cancerous and spread to his spine.  They have 3 young

children and such a heart for God.  Through it all they have been praising the Lord and

trusting him.  They are so inspiring.  Please pray for them as they continue trust in God

through this situation their names are Tiffany and Cory. 

Then a little over a week ago a Daddy died.  He was the father of a little boy in Ayla's

preschool class.  A young father.  A young family again.  He died instantly when he was on his

way home from a work party and a drunk driver struck him head on.  That family is now

grieving and having to face the holiday's without him.  I couldn't imagine.  That could have

easily been me or my husband that died.  Wow, life can go so fast! Pray for the Rose family as

they face Christmas without their husband and Daddy.

Last Friday my Grandma Lucia Emma took her last breaths and went to join her husband in

heaven.  She had been suffering from Alzheimer's and a stroke.  So I am so happy that she

has the peace of Jesus now.  Selfishly I miss her.  I have missed her for awhile now though. 

She hasn't been fully there because of the Alzheimer's.  Some of my best childhood memories

are with her.  We had lots of sleepovers at her house.  She had a way of making you feel so

warm and loved with her snacks and cozy blankets.  I miss having a grandma.  I lost my

other grandma years ago and whenever I see someone with there grandma I get a little ache

inside.  I can't imagine how my Mom must feel loosing her Mom.  I know she said goodbye

slowly through the years with the Alzheimer's.  If I ever lost my Mom I know it would knock

the wind out of me for a very long time.  The funeral is on Wednesday and I know it is going

to be a hard day for all of us.  Jackson is the only one of my kids that really has memories

with her.  This will be his first experience with death so I am praying that he will have peace

knowing that she is in heaven.

This month has been so full of emotions, so full of decisions and so busy.  Almost the entire

month I suffered from Strep throat which I didn't treat until last week {Mom's can't get sick

right?} The doctor couldn't believe I had waited to so long to take antibiotics.  Apparently it

is quite dangerous and would have never healed on its own.  I was just to busy being a

mommy to go to the doctor.  Which the doctor realized when I walked in with my small herd

of children to get a check up.  On top of this Eli has been really busy at work. His business is

growing really fast which is a blessing but just a lot of work right now.  Soon his business will

get to a point were it is self-running and he will be home a lot.  So good things come to those

who wait. So even with me sick and home 6 days a week caring for 5 small children and Eli

having a ridiculous work load we thrived.   God honestly gave me the best man out there.  He

comes home from work and immediately takes over, playing, cooking, cleaning,

snuggling...whatever is needed. 

Through all of these blessings, all this good, all this sickness and all this sadness

I have learned how many amazing people I am surrounded by.  I really know who my friends

are now.  I have a really long list of thank you's to write.  We have had strangers give the

kids Christmas presents, clothes even a gift card to buy presents with.  I have had friends

call with some encouragement and prayer right when I needed it.  I have had friends sell my

jewelry for me and stop by with a homemade dinner.  Through out these tragedies and

blessings I have seen people come together to take care of each other.  It humbled me.  I

need to give more.  I need to help more.  I need to encourage more. One of my favorite

quotes of all is

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”
~Mother Teresa~

Which leads me to my beautiful daughters and their beautiful smiles.  I was a little sad and

tired on Sunday.  It had been a long week.  I took the two older girls out for some Mommy

time.  We went to a movie, to see Santa, road on a horse carriage and went shopping.  They

made my day! There smiles immediately changed the way I felt.  They have such a love for

each other.  They are literally inseparable.  Sisters and best friends...How lucky are they.

I want to be like them.  They reminded me, I have to set an example. I want to have a joyful

spirit and rub it off on everyone I meet.  I have 5 little sets of eyes watching me very

carefully.  My mood affects them and I want them to be full of patience, kindness, giving

and God's love. The world needs more people like that and I have a chance to send 5 people

off into the world to change it.

{phew...no pressure}



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A Wedding!

Many of you don't know but Eli and I got married young, really young.

I was engaged at 18 and married at 19.  When people found out we were engaged they assumed a baby was on the way. Who gets married for love at 18? Well we did.  We were constantly asked "why?" much like we are with our adoption. We wanted to get married and the sooner the better.  My parents were not thrilled for the rush of it but were surprisingly very supportive.  We were definitely immature and had a lot of growing up to do.  We just knew that we could not bare to be apart and there was a reason for it. The best part is, we got to grow up together. 

 One of my best friends got married this past weekend.  It was beautiful and everything she dreamed of I am sure.  She found a beautiful man to share her life with.  Eli and I have been married for over 9 years and most of my friends from high school are just now getting married or aren't even engaged yet. Which is the norm.  Through out my marriage there were many many times I felt I missed out.  Missed out on the whole going away to college experience.  Living on my own, having my own money and space.  Having people my age that could identify with me. 

On Friday night I went out for the bachelorette party as any matron of honor should.  That scene was not me at all.  I had fun with my sister and catching up with high school friends but it was very clear that I haven't missed out at all.  At the end of the night my (married) sister, (engaged friend) and I all looked at each other and said aren't we so lucky.  One of my single friends their even said to us at the end of the night please pray for the right guy to come along for me.  There is nothing wrong with being single or going out to have fun with friends.  Many people prefer to be single and God has a different plan for them.  I was just amazed that we could be out there amongst all that fun and truly miss our significant others.  I realized how much God has blessed my life.  My marriage was very hard when I wasn't focused on God.  It is so easy to see how everyone else lives and follow along.  God created each of us for a different purpose on this earth so if we all try to do what everyone else is doing we will never be fulfilled.  It is only when we look to God with our decisions that we will be blessed.  God has changed Eli and I so much in the past 10 years since we got engaged.  We have been through some very hard times together and some very beautiful times together.  We were made for each other.  Even though there were many times when we didn't think so.   God has blessed me with a Man who wants to change the world with me, who reads my mind, who doesn't put up with my anxieties and always cheers me up.  He prefers me with no make-up and sweat pants.  I don't have to impress him to get his love.  I love him so much more today then when we stood face to face on our wedding day.  As long as we follow God's lead with our future I know we will continue to be blessed so much more then we deserve.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of how beautiful our life really is.

How is your life beautiful?

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Shine!

 I haven't posted for awhile because we were busy doing respite care for the last 10 days.  We got the call right after we got home from a long weekend out of town and my son was dealing with a stomach bug.  It was for a teenage {mom} and her baby.  I really wanted an out. We were tired, unorganized and trying to get caught up.  I asked several questions...mainly about safety concerns with her being around my kids.  Everything I heard was that she was extremely responsible and only needed a place to stay while her foster mom went on a vacation.  We agreed. We couldn't come up with a good enough reason to say no.  I knew we could show them love and they needed a place stay. How could I say no? She walked into my house with such a beautiful smile full of excitement.  How scary for her only having hours to prepare her and her baby to come to a complete strangers house for 10 days.  She is so much stronger then I will ever be.  We immediately loved her and her baby.  Over the days she told me agonizing stories...stories that make me sick. Stories I honestly didn't want to hear.  Stories that nobody should ever have to live through. I could tell though that she had a life full of people that didn't want to listen, that didn't want to see her.  She really desperately wanted to be seen and heard.  I listened.  I looked deep into her tortured eyes and saw her.  The love and care that she gave to her baby blew me away.  She took better care of her baby then some of my adult mom friends {seriously}.  Even though her life was full of disappointment, torture, neglect and abandonment she still had a beautiful sole and so much gentle love to give.   So tonight was the night I had to return her to her foster mom.  She begged until the last second to stay with us.  She so desperately wanted to be part of our family.  I do not think her other foster family is abusive in any way but she really bonded with us.  She is in a different school system then we live, it is the middle of the school year and her and her baby would be taking the room that we made for our adoptive children.  So if they moved in we wouldn't be able to adopt.  She is not adoptable she will be returning to one of her bio parents in Febuary [maybe].  I don't even think her social worker would approve the move but I can't help but feel like I abandoned them when I dropped them off.  That is how her eyes made me feel.  She called me a couple hours after I dropped them off just to tell me that when her baby woke up from her nap she crawled around crying and looking for us.  I could tell over the phone that she had been crying herself.  Maybe this is a feeling I will have after every placement in my home but I really feel that I need to do something more.  My heart doesn't feel at peace.  I don't know what God wants us to do but I am praying that we will know soon.  I feel that we are the only ones in this world that see her potential, see her succesful future.  I don't think she had even thought of her future until we talked to her about it.  I don't want her to remain unseen and unheard in this world.  Proverbs 24:12 says "Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act."

I want her to shine!

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My free spirit!

So after hearing a couple thuds I walked upstairs to this...

She thought everything looked better on the floor.  When I first walked in she was hiding under the bed brushing her teeth in a deep imagination. It must be so fun to be her.  She is so free spirited, so quiet, so fun and so independant. Nothing about her is predictable. She has so many of the traits that I wish I had more of.  What a blessing she is to my life. She can teach me so much.

Then I walked to Jackson's room.  He was deep into a story. Everything in his room just the way he likes it. So responsible, so thoughtful, so talkative and so predictable.  He is so much like me. Another blessing in my life!

They couldn't be more different.

They couldn't be more loved.

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