Skipping my Shower

Just put these two down for a nap and the other 3 are at

school.  This is usually my time to take a shower but today I

just couldn't get something out of my mind. 

It is something I have been wanting to post for awhile but I

always seem to be so busy or to tired at the end of the day to

write.  I have so many people say to me:

"You went from two potty

trained kids to 5 over night, you are crazy!" 

or

"you must really love kids" 

This is usually

not meant as an insult but just more amazement that

someone is crazy enough to commit to something like this.  I

really do think most people in our lives don't get it and really

think we are crazy.  I know where they are coming from.  A

couple years ago before Eli and I made the commitment to

adopt I would have never in my wildest dreams thought that

we would adopt three kids at once.

I even had some Christian's who are very close to me

say right before the kids moved in

"so your really going through with this"?  "I

am worried about you and how it will change your life if

you commit to this."

"Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you have to

adopt."  "Why didn't Jesus adopt?"

I could go on and on with quotes. 

Everyone worrying for me, but no one worrying for the three

children that had no where to go. 

How does that make sense.  Praise the Lord that we said yes

because our lives are so full and so blessed because of these

three.  Ayla would have never met her best friend if we

had said no.  We have never been happier as a family.

Why do we want to live our normal life and be left alone. 

That is not what God calls us to do.  We should be reaching

out to the world and showing God's love. 

Most of us Christians (including me) Just want to live a life

like the rest of the world and then go to church on Sunday.  I

am not trying to sound judgy I promise.  I am so, so, so guilty

of this. Eli and I didn't have some extra patience, super

power or a huge savings to be able to take on this job.  We are

just normal people that said yes to what God called us to do. 

I know God is calling me to do more though. 

He is calling all of us to do more. 

I have felt so guilty this week as I

planned a vacation for my family and have a pantry stocked

with food. Why has God blessed my family so much when

their are so many other families suffering in Japan and all

over the world?  There is so much more that I can do.

Praying that God shows me.

 I am not saying go out and adopt three kids. 

But what can you do? 

I promise when we say yes to God's calling for us he will

provide and give you the strength you need to fulfill that

calling.

We are so blessed

Just think if we all did something a little "crazy" for Jesus. 

Remember we are the only ones here to show God's love and

there are so many people out there that need it.

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Heart Broken!

  Today is one of those days that I just have that sick, sad feeling in my stomach.  I am the type that wants to always look at the bright side of things.  I am torn about writing this blog.....I don't want to scare people but I want to be honest.  This last week went as perfect as perfect could go with my family.  Thomas was a fully blended part of the family.  We went on a family trip last weekend and had a blast.  This week we did find out that more then likely Thomas would be returning to his bio-dad but definitely not his bio-mom. This made me sad but I do know that Thomas truly wants to be with his bio Dad so I knew when the day came to say goodbye I would be able to fully encourage and except it.  I couldn't help but truly love him as my own though.  We built trust with each other. 

  Last night my bio son told me some shocking information that devastated my husband and I to the core.  We found out that Thomas had learned some very inappropriate behaviors from his past (abusive) homes. Something that my husband and I had agreed from the beginning was a deal breaker.  It was no longer safe for Thomas to live with younger kids or for our kids to live with him.  I have never seen my husband cry the way he did last night.   The images of last night our haunting my mind today.  Thinking of telling him I loved him and why it was better for him to go to a different home, carrying him out to the car as he hugged me so tight and putting him in the car.  I didn't know the right words to say to him.  All I could muster was "bye sweetie". I am happy that my son is innocent and didn't think much of what happened.  We had to find a new home for Thomas.  I hate that we had to do that.  I was fully prepared to fight to the death for this new man in my life.  My number one priority is to protect Thomas, Jackson and Ayla.  This was the best and only option we had. 

Today the house feels to big without him. The kids miss him terribly.  How scary for Thomas to go to another home in such a hurry.  He was taught the behaviors.  He was just an innocent child himself.  He was abused.  It isn't fair what this child has suffered at the hands of adults that he trusted.  All I keep thinking about is I hope his new home is safe and good for him.  I hope he gets the help and love he needs. He can't handle any more moves.  I also keep thinking....what if his Dad messes up again and totally looses any chance of custody.  Who will adopt a 9 year old boy with a bad history?  He could age out of the system never having a permanent home.  I truly love him...yet because I have other children I can't care for him the way he needs to be cared for.

I keep thinking about why God would have this happen.  Everything was going to well. This was the last thing I would have suspected.  These behaviors he had, had never been noticed before by any previous homes and the fact that my son reports any and everything to me really might save this boys life. Now hopefully he will get the help he really needs and his bio brothers and sisters will get the help they need. The sooner this is addressed for him the better.  I am so thankful my son was brave enough to talk to us about it before something devastating happened.  In this case we are very lucky.  I don't want those of you reading this to be discouraged from adoption.  He was a blessing to have in my life for the time he was here. We still desperately want to adopt.  I think we will be much more cautious now...choosing kids that are more in our kids age group.  I wanted to try the older kids because they have a much smaller chance of being adopted compared to the little ones.  I am still absolutely sure that there are older kids in the foster care system who would be perfectly safe to have in our home. But, with us having little ones still we have to wait for them to grow up a little more before bringing in an older kid.  So for now we wait and see if we can get a match with some younger kids.  Please pray for Thomas and pray for my family as we all have a very fresh wound that needs time to heal.  So for now it is back to the four of us waiting to see what God has in store for us on our journey.

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Right now!

I hope you are all having a beautiful day! God is good, life is good.

   Just cozying up on the couch after church...and yes I know we are missing one.  She was upstairs putting her babies down for a nap of course!

Wanted to stop in a tell you about some cute stuff I have found

This beautiful necklace was made by the women in uganda to support there families, they match everything and can be purchased at http://www.147millionorphans.com/

This beautiful dress was made by a women trying to raise money to adopt her third child from Ethiopia. It is my favorite dress that Ayla has. She has all different fabrics, colors, shirts, skirts, crops etc. I plan on ordering many, many more. Go check her out at

There are so many things out there that I am discovering that people sell to raise money for there adoptions or that help take care of orphans...not everyone feels called to adopt but if everyone just helped someone who is, I bet more people would be able to adopt. So every now and then when I find something cute for a good cause I will let you know. If any of you have anything that you have found let me know.

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